Feeling happy. Changing things here.

Name: Heldy
Drug of choice: alcohol
Clean date: 7/24/17
Days sober: 1 year, 29 days

I am feeling happy because I think this may be helpful to my daughter. As I mentioned in my last entry, we were just starting a DBT skills class for adolescents. Had I checked in with you a week ago, I would have told you how exhausted I was and utterly defeated. I walked the walk though and chose to radically accept that my daughter might not find this useful the way I did. She told me after the first group that it wasn’t for her. We had a long evening of expressing our frustration with one another. She didn’t believe anyone was listening to her when she said school wasn’t for her, and this simply wasn’t going to work. I expressed my frustration that she hadn’t given it a proper try. In the end, she agreed to go for 4 sessions and after which, I agreed to explore other options for her for school. Mind you, school hasn’t even started yet. In the end,  we both felt heard, and I think that was the most important thing.

Last night was our 2nd group. It was totally focused on distress tolerance and emergency skills. She really responded to this, and even participated. As we left, she said she really only needed 1 more session (something she had tried to bargain down from 4) to realize that this was a good thing. Off to dinner out we went, and I mentioned again how happy I was that we could do this once a week and try a new restaurant we probably never would have otherwise, just the 2 of us. It was a great evening.

I’m changing part of my check-in. Some of these questions just don’t match what I’m doing anymore. I think once I hit 18 months sober, I’ll remove that part too. I am not in AA, and the recovery programs I followed don’t really count sobriety that way. By their accounts, I have almost 6 years of sobriety. That said, I’ll keep the count until 18 months when I believe my brain has safely healed from the abuse.

What I’m working on: DBT skills (mindfulness, distress tolerance)

Success? My daughter feeling good about this class

Challenge? Currently, just making sure I keep everything straight as far as things that need to be done. Work is incredibly busy. I feel awful as I agreed to meet a new client tonight. I felt strongly I was forgetting something. I had. I had previously agreed to let my sister park her car at our house and I was to take her to the airport tonight. She insisted she will just park there – it’s a short trip, but man do I feel like a putz. I offered to have my son drive her or get her an Uber – I just can’t blow off a new client last minute, but I could arrange something else for her. I still feel terrible about this.

Have you felt triggered since last checking in? No.

Do you intend to harm yourself or others? No

Homework:

Funny, the video I posted in the last entry was supposed to be a TED talk about humor. It was a 30-second ad and I still don’t know what for. Oops! At least I know no one really reads this thing! Hahaha!

This was the video shown at our first DBT skills group:

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