This Naked Mind, Freedom from Drinking, DBT, Radical Acceptance

Name: Heldy
Drug of choice: alcohol
Clean date: 7/24/17
Days sober: 1 year, 1 month, 19 days

Before I go into my regular check-in, I am compelled to let you know that I’ve discovered a couple alcohol related recovery resources that I wish, wish, WISH I had had when I first stopped drinking. It is PURE gold. I will update my links with it too. Whenever I feel the need to connect to someone else who “gets it”, this does it for me. I still have yet to step foot in any real-life meeting since I stopped drinking over a year ago, and I feel the only thing that may be missing is a crew of people who get it, however, this satisfies that for me completely.

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This book, which I haven’t even finished yet, is a total game changer. As I said, I wish I had had this from day 1. It’s seriously so good. The intro alone had me feeling so NOT alone. She gets it. She gets me. I listen to it on audiobook as I don’t have time to sit still and read:

Here’s an article from Forbes on it: https://www.forbes.com/sites/jesscording/2018/01/15/annie-grace-this-naked-mind/#56c55d15dea3

For some, a temporary break from alcohol (aka #DryJanuary) can reframe their relationship with drinking, but some may find avoiding it entirely helps them have a healthier, happier personal and professional life. In her book, This Naked Mind, author Annie Grace shares her story of quitting alcohol and uses psychology and neuroscience research and a “no scare statistics” approach to empower readers to do the same.

Secondly, her podcast. It’s PURE GOLD, people.

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Go. Subscribe. Buckle in. Not a bad place to start would be episode 100 where she goes over 100 things which improved since she stopped drinking.

I am feeling ah-ha duh-ish because last night was our 4th DBT class and this one introduced radical acceptance. Radical acceptance has been, by far, the most profound thing I have ever learned in how to just live. And yet! When she asked us to think of examples of things we’re dealing with in which we are willful instead of willing, it was so silly obvious that I wasn’t practicing this when my daughter has her meltdowns. I have in past, but I haven’t lately. Our teacher used her own daughter’s meltdowns as an example and she described her exhaustion of “here we go again”, and my eyes got big. This is how I’ve been feeling, and I haven’t stopped, truly accepted, and leaned into what is. I’ve been resisting and frustrated, and feeling so guilty for not being able to fix it. I’ve been exhausted and angry. It brought tears to my eyes when I acknowledged this.

My daughter has been participating, and even pointing out things in our day to day, showing me she is listening and really taking this in. I am so relieved. I really love our Tuesday evenings. It’s us time, and we are both learning so much together.

What I’m working on: Radical acceptance! I also learned it’s okay if I don’t choose this; radical acceptance is a choice. So is being willful. So is being self-destructive. We all have choices in how we handle things, and that is true freedom. We can choose to do something, we can choose to accept, we can choose to do nothing, we can choose to make things worse.

Number of recovery meetings this week: I am definitely changing this. Number of DBT classes, 1. That’s all there will be too. I may just eliminate this question altogether.

Success? The progress with my daughter is huge. Personally, I’m doing ok. My daughter and how I choose to react to our situation is both my biggest challenge and success.

Challenge? See success.

Have you felt triggered since group? I’m getting rid of this question. After I hit the 1 year mark, things actually quieted completely in my head. I didn’t realize how much I felt I needed to get to that milestone, and how much noise that caused in my mind. It was somewhat all-consuming for a time, and once I got there, it was like I could relax and breathe.  I’m still counting the time to that 1.5 year date, as I’ve given that some meaning. It falls close to my birthday as well. I will for sure drop this question as well as the time counting once I get there, as it no longer is meaningful.

Do you intend to harm yourself or others? No

Homework:

Why not listen to “This Naked Mind” podcast #100?

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Are you open to feedback? Yes

– Heldy

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